Saturday, January 31, 2009

Forgive Him

And so it was...
that the dog appeared,
licked my face awake
and told me “Forgive him.”

Startled, I sat up.
Felt around for my glasses.
And what did I find instead?
Tears. Goddamn tears in my eyes.

So I’ve been crying.
Again.
Fuck this shit.
Fuck that dog.

The mornings are hardest.
At night, at least,
I just drink and pass out.
But mornings the dog comes.

His hot breath in my face.
Panting like he’s training for a marathon.
Begging for forgiveness.
Fucking dog.

And yet he is sweet.
And I know it’s because
he just wants to be happy.
But I’m not happy.

I’m angry.
And I’m sad.
There’s a dog in my head.
And my thoughts stink of dog breath.

So, alas, try as I might,
I cannot forgive him.
And that’s when the cat comes
and says, “Let him go.”

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Under Your Skin

Do you wear what you wear
to hide your woes?
That lovely smile.
That skin of yours.

Does it matter if you hate
the things you see?
This shell you polish.
The invisible "me".

Why should it matter—
what they think of you?
Your secrets with their allure
of everything untrue.

The place where you hid
the junk and the mess.
The terrible things you did
just as a test

to see if you could break
what was already broke.
The hand that bit itself.
History’s cruel joke.

But can anything hurt
if nothing's at the core?
No kisses for the boy
who gave nothing more.

The boy whose own skin
couldn't sheathe his pain.
And the man you became
in your hunger to be him.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Amazing Distance

Distance is a maze of amazement.
It’s a play on words and sounds,
a sudden knowing
in courtship, when your hands
reach out to grasp at something
and you find mine
struggling to get away
and lead you deeper into the maze.

Because when you lean into me
to meet my lips,
you’ve traveled further than you ever had.
And I was just beginning to understand,
naive as I’d been,
the cul-de-sac I thought my love had led to
was actually an enchanted door
requiring of me an “Open Sesame”.

So deeper we go,
and deeper we go,
deeper into the maze until
it becomes everything we know
of each other and ourselves.
Until all the fear we felt
became, in a word, and a sound, amazing.

What at first seemed broken
turned out to be a way in.
What first appeared to be deception
was really just comic intervention.
Every single thing we thought we knew
was nothing more than the skin
of what we truly felt.

And we knew what we had could never be
sad, because even though we were so close,
we had already traveled much further
than we ever had.
With this thing that we still share.
And what can be more amazing than that.
What can be more amazing than that.